Lily's Diary
by heRmiONe721
Summary: During a trip to Diagon Alley one afternoon, Lily asks Ginny a simple question that triggers memories of Ginny's past that she doesn't like to think about. How will this effect their mother-daughter relationship? This is my first story published. I would really appreciate constructive criticism!


" Come on Lily, we have to go." Said Ginny trying to coax her only daughter and youngest child off of platform 9 3/4

" It's not Fair, I want to go to Hogwarts too. Why do I always have to be last? "

" You will go to Hogwarts in two years when you are 11 like Al is. It he time will come soon enough" said Harry who hated to see his little girl upset.

" I hate my stupid birthday, if it wasn't so late I could go next year."

" Just you wait, once you see how nice it is t home without your brothers bothering you all of the time, you will be glad that you had a few years by yourself. I wish I could have had more than one year by myself."

" Ya right, you are just saying that to make me feel better. Anybody would rather be a Hogwarts then stuck at home."

" I really mean it." Ginny kneeled down to be on her daughters level and lowered her voice to a more calm sounding tone that her mother always used when she needed to be reassuring, " I know how you are feeling right now, I felt it too when your Uncle Ron left for school. You think you are going to be lonely at home with your brothers gone, and at first you will be for awhile. But once you get used to it you will love it. You are just going to have to trust me on this, okay. "

" That is not even close to how I feel! " Lily responded quickly because she didn't want to admit that once again her mother was right.

" I could be wrong, only you know how you feel. But I do know how I felt when I was in your position."

" Come on Lil, if we hurry up we could stop by Diagon Alley before lunch and grab some ice cream and maybe even a present. How does that sound." Harry hated to see any of his kids upset but he always felt especially bad for Lily.

"Before lunch?" Lily sounded like she was just told that Christmas came early

" Yes, but we are going to have to hurry. I have to go to work for the afternoon."

"And can I pick out whatever I want?"

" Of course you can!" Harry responded. Ginny glanced at her husband but smiled. She really didn't like how Harry spoiled the children but Lily was really enjoying the extra attention she was getting so she didn't say anything about it.

The Potter family left the train station and went straight to Diagon Alley. It looked like a ghost town, especially considering how busy it had been the week previously when families were all getting ready to send the children off to school today. Harry liked it when it was like this. It reminded of of the summer he had spent there right before his third year. When they family had reached Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor, that were treated like royalty. The wasn't out of the ordinary for Harry and his family, Mr. Fortescue had always had a keen liking towards Harry. He told them that their treats were on the house and they could choose anything they liked. When Harry was a boy he loved this but now he always refused the special treatments he was given because he wanted to show his children that they had to work towards what they wanted and that everything wasn't handed to them. The Potters ordered their treats, paid for them, and decided to eat at the tables outside and enjoy the last of summers beauty.

" Do you have any idea of what you might want to get as your present Lil?" Harry asked after he was done eating his raspberry sundae

" Could we go to Flourish and Blotts? I am almost done with the second book in the Wizard Sisters series and would really like to get the next one."

" That sound like a wonderful idea love, you are really enjoying those books, aren't you?" Ginny loved her daughter's newfound love for reading. A few months ago they could hardly get Lily to touch a book and now they needed to be taken away from her at night so she would sleep.

" Well then, we better get going then. Especially if you want me to come with you. I have to go back to work soon."

" Do you really have to go back to work Daddy? Mummy gets to stay home all day. Can't you stay too. We can play Quidditch together."

" I really want to stay home and play with you, honestly. You know how important it is for me to go to work. I need to be at the Ministry to help catch the bad guys. I need to help keep everybody safe. I am really sorry Lil."

" That's okay Daddy, I know your job is really important and you need to work so there won't be another war. "

" How about I make you a deal, in a few weeks I have the weekend I have off and I am not on call. I promise you we can have a special Lily and Daddy day where we can do anything you want, just the two of us. "

" That sounds fun. " Lily wasn't really excited about waiting that long but it would have to do.

" Come on! Let's go get your new Book! " Ginny could see how upset her daughter was and wanted to distract her. The family left the the ice cream shop and headed towards Florish and Blotts. As soon as they entered the store, Harry rushed off to look at the Quidditch books, not that he hasn't already read them all. But just to the left of the entrance way, there was a display of journals. Lily found a bright purple one with a butterfly on it.

" Oh Mum, can I please get this diary instead of the new book. It would be so much fun to write in it and tell it everything"

Ginny was panicked " No! You said you wanted a new Wizard Sisters book and that is why you are getting! Besides, what would you do with a diary? They are a pointless waste of paper. Find your book so we can go before you make your father late for work. "

" But Mum, Daddy said I coul..." but before Lily could even finish her sentence Ginny snapped and responded " GO AND GET YOUR BOOK NOW OR YOU ARE GETTING NOTHING!"

Lily was on the verge of tears as she ran of to the children's section of the store. She had absolutely no idea why her mom got so mad at her. She didn't do anything wrong, all she did was ask if she could get something else. And she even asked nicely. Her mom never yelled at her or her brothers even when they did something bad. She couldn't believe that that really happened. Lily found the book that she was looking for and gave it to her dad so he could pay for it.  
***********

When the Potters got home, they ate a very quick (and quiet) lunch together so Harry could get going to work. Once he left, Ginny seemed even more annoyed with Lily the. She had been at the store. As she was heading to go and switch the laundry (thank goodness for muggle technology) she passed Lily's bedroom. "LILY LUNA POTTER YOU GET HERE THIS INSTANT!"

Lily didn't want to get into any more trouble then she was already in so she ran to her room as quickly as she could. " Yes Mum?"

" Have you seen this room!? It is a mess. I want you to clean it now, and don't bother coming out until it is spotless. Do you understand? "

Lily's room was a mess. She didn't have time to clean it yesterday after she was done playing because her family went to her grandparents house for their back to school party they have on the last day of summer every year and by the time they got home spit was late and she was exhausted from playing with her cousins. But what Lily didn't under stand was that her room wasn't even that messy. It has been much worse before and she hadn't gotten into trouble for it. "But mum, it is so nice. I want to go outside and play."

" Then I suggest you get started now so maybe by the time you are done you still have time to play before bed. "

" Fine, I will clean my room "

" And I will be checking it when you are done so do a good job now or you will have to do it all over again. " Ginny walked away and went back to doing the laundry. Lily started to clean her room but before too long she heard the Floo. A minute later her mum came into her room.

" They need me at work so you are going to the burrow for a few hours while I am gone."

" Can't I stay here by myself?"

" You are too young to stay home with no grown-ups to watch you. Come on Grandma Molly is waiting for you." Lily grabbed her book then her mothers arm and they apperated to the burrow.

" Thanks for watching her mum, I shouldn't be at work for long for long."

" Take as long as you need, no worry to rush. I do not mind watch Lily for a few hours. How about you and Harry come over for dinner tonight? We have tons of leftovers form the party last night. Ron and Hermione might come over too."

" That sounds good, As soon as I get to the Ministry I will send Harry a note telling him to come here if he can. He came in late today so he could see the boys off so I am not sure if he will make it."

" Well if he has to work he doesn't need to come. Don't make him fell obligated to come if they need him. His job is important. Speaking of work you should get going. I don't want you to be late because of me."

" I will get going soon but I want to say goodbye to Lily first. She is probably up in my room. " Ginny left the main room and walked up all seven flights of stairs to her old bedroom at the top of the house. Without surprise, Lily was sitting in the plus chair in the corner of the nearly empty room reading. " Lily Love, I'm leaving now, but I should be back in a few hours. We are staying here for dinner so dad might be here before me if he can make it."

"Bye" Lily muttered without even looking up from her book.

" Sweetheart, is something bothering you?"

" Nope, I am just really into my book." Once again Lily talked to her mother without looking up like she normally would.

" I will see you soon, alright?" Ginny got no response from Lily so she left the room and went downstairs without another word from her daughter.

Molly was waiting for her daughter at the bottom of the stairs. " There you are, you going to be late if you don't hurry up."

" Mum relax, they told me to get there as soon as I could, they weren't expecting me to get there right away. They knew Lily was at home and I would need to find somebody to watch her. But I was wondering if I could ask a favor from you? "

" Of course dear, anything, what do you need?"

" It's Lily, I think something is bothering her but I can't figure out what. She doesn't want to talk to me this afternoon. She says that she is reading but normally she will stop to wander me. Will you please talk to her. Maybe she will talk to you."

" of course I can, but you should really go. I will not have you late to work because if me."  
" Fine, I'll go. Bye mum. "

" Goodbye Ginny, I will see you late." And with a large crack, Ginny was off. Molly knew that the best way to talk to Lily was to let Lily to talk for herself. She thought the best way to do this would get her busy doing something and have her open up through that. Molly thought she would let Lily read for a while then they could whip up a batch of cookies to have with dinner that night. About an hour later, Molly thought that Lily would be ready to talk now. So she yelled up the stairs to her granddaughter

" Lily, I need your help making some cookies for dinner tonight! What. Kind do you want to make?"

" Can I please finish my chapter first? I only have three pages left. And we should make double chocolate cookies. They are my favorite."

" Sounds good to me. I will get everything we need together and you come down when you are finished."

Lily came downstairs just as Molly was pulling the last of the ingredients out of the cupboard. " I am ready to help you now."

" Perfect timing. I was thinking about it, I don't think there has really ever been a time where just the two of us had together. Your brothers or cousins are always here too."

" It is pretty nice being the only kid at home, I know it has only been a few hours but the boys weren't bothering me. It has been almost perfect."

This is going to be easier than I planed, Molly thought to herself. " What is making it not so perfect? You have always wanted to be an only child."

" I did, but when the boys are home mum and dad didn't pay such close attention to what I was doing. They had the boys to look after too. Now all of the attention is on me and I am already in trouble and it has only been a few hours"

"Trouble? What could my Lily possibly do to get into trouble? That doesn't sound like you at all."

" Well, it's not like I am punished or anything. Mum has just been really short tempered with me all day like she is when she is mad. I didn't even do anything bad. I promise. She was fine this morning then all afternoon she has been acting weird."

" When exactly did she start acting like this? Was when you got home? Do you remember a specific even that her behavior started with?"

" I think it was at the book store. She was normal before we got there but mad when we left. The first time she got angry at me was when I asked her if I could get a diary I send of the book I was planning in getting."

" I think I know what happened."

" What? What did I do?"

" I will talk to your mother tonight and let her tell you."

" But grandma, why can't you just tell me now?"

" Trust me, it will be better this way."

**********

Later that night, when the family was over for dinner, Molly took Ginny aside to tell her about the chat with Lily earlier in the day. She was just finishing cleaning up the kitchen, Hermione was busy trying to teach Arthur how to use his new Muggle computer, Harry and Ron were listening to the Cannons game on the wireless and Ginny was watching Hugo and Lily playing outside through the window in the kitchen. " It feels really weird just seeing the two of them out there. The house feels so empty without the boys."

" Believe me, once Lily is off at school too you will have so much free time you won't know what to do with yourself."

" I find that hard to believe. But did you happen to have a chance to talk to Lily today?"

" Yes I did, we had a nice little chat..."

" Well, what did she say?"

" I was getting there. I swear your patience has only gotten worse over the years. Now, if you will let me I will tell you what happened. I started by talking to her about how nice it must be for her to finally be the only child. She told me that she really enjoyed her peace this afternoon at home and how it was almost perfect. I asked her what made it not perfect and she told me that now that she is the only kid that all of the attention is on her and she will get into more trouble. She thinks that she is already in trouble and that you are mad at her because of what happened at Flourish and Blotts this morning. What she doesn't know is what happened in your first year at Hogwarts. Am I right?"

" She doesn't need to know about that. She is way to young to know. It has nothing to do with her. I was stupid. What difference does it make if she knows?"

" First off, you were not stupid. You were young and didn't know what would happen. It was a mistake. Second of all, she is hardly younger that you were at that time, and she at least needs to know why you acted the way you did today. I think that telling her the whole story would be a good idea. She can learn a lot from it. There is so many perks from being able to do magic but it also has it consequences and this is a good example of that. Harry tells the kids stories about when he was in school, they can hear some from you."

" But Harry has better stories than I do. He is the hero in all of them. Here, I a he bad guy. It was my fault all of those people were petrified. I didn't save the day. I nearly closed down Hogwarts! "

" You are just making excuses. Tell her. You are her mother. She won't see you any differently because of it. Tonight. You are going to tell her tonight. You don't want your daughter to think you are mad at her do you?"

" No. No I don't. "

" Telling her will be a good leaning experience you both of you. Lily will learn about being safe around enchanted objects that she doesn't know about and you will learn about being open about your past. I know you hate talking about this but you really have to sometimes."

" I guess"

Just then Ron and Harry came in. " Match is over, we lost. Again." Ron said disappointed.

"Aww maybe you should start supporting a good team, like the Harpies." Ginny said. She loved teasing her brother about their differences in who they supported, even though Ginny once played for the Harpies, Ron could just not get himself to support any team but the Cannons.

"Never! Why would I do something like that. Just you watch. One day we will make a huge comeback and your team will have a bad streak."

" A bad streak? It has been years since they had a good game. They won't come back."

Before Ron could respond the kids came running into the house. "It is getting dark outside so we thought we should come in." Hugo said.

" Is it really that late already? We better get going so Lily can get to bed on time. Thanks Molly. We had a really nice time."

" There is no need for any thanks Harry, you know that. You are family. You are welcome any time."

" But really thank you mum" Ginny said. Molly knew that Ginny was talking about something completely different.

" It was nothing dear, now scurry along. I'm sure you have things to do at home, you have had a busy day." Goodbyes were said all around and the Potter family apperated home with a crack.

As soon as the Potters got home, Lily started getting ready for bed as she normally did but, once she was done she didn't get Ginny to tuck her in as she normally did. She knew that her mom was mad at her and she didn't want to get into trouble for bothering her mom so she tucked herself into bed without even saying goodnight. Ginny was folding the laundry that she had started earlier in the day but noticed how long it was taking her daughter to get ready for bed. "Lily should have been out to get me by now. I am going to go and check on her." Ginny told her husband. She got up to go and find her daughter. She could see a light n through the crack of her bedroom door. She opened it up and stuck her head in. " Lil? Is everything alright? You didn't come and get me to come tuck you in." There was no answer. " Lily, I know you aren't sleeping." Ginny went into her daughters room and sat next to her on the edge of the bed stroking her hair. " Lil, I know what is bothering you and I want to apologize for how I was earlier. I over reacted today and I shouldn't have done that."

Lily finally acknowledged her mothers presents and rolled over to face her. " but why did you? I didn't do anything wrong."

" No you didn't do anything wrong, like I said, I over reacted. I was scared and didn't know what to do so I lashed out at you. I am really sorry. Do you forgive me?"

" But why were you scared? It was just a book."

" See Lily, there is a story about when I was at school that you don't know about. Do you remember hearing stories about Daddy, Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione going out to find the horcruxes?" Lily nodded in agreement. " Well a few of the horcruxes were found earlier than that trip. One of them, a diary, was snuck into my stack of schoolbooks at Borgin and Burkes right before I started my first year at Hogwarts by a very bad man. I didn't know that it was a Horcrux, or even what a Horcrux was at the time. And you know how we always tell you not to play with things because they might have dark magic. Well I knew that bad I didn't listen to the rules because I didn't know that I diary could have dark magic in it. I started writing in the diary. And it was really cool because the diary would write back to me, like we were having a conversation. I should have known that the diary could have been dangerous because it shouldn't beta liking back but I kept writing to it. After a while, the person who kept writing in the diary made me come and find him. He had me open a secret chamber in the school. So I did and I found Tom, he put a spell on me so he could control me and do the things he couldn't do because he was only a memory. Tom made me do some very bad things and I hurt many muggleborns. I didn't know I did it until after it happened but I couldn't tell anybody I knew why all of the bad things were happening because Tom would kill me. So many bad things were happening that the teachers were going to close the school forever but your dad, Uncle Ron and one of the teachers there went to the chamber to see why everything was happening and they saved my life. Tom was taking the life out if me all year when I was writing in the diary and eventually he got strong enough that he was going to take the rest of my life so he could become a real person again." By the end of the story Lily was curled up in her mothers lap, listening intently.  
" So today at the store when you asked me if you could buy the diary I got scared because I thought that something bad like that would happen to you. I knew that this wasn't a bad diary like the one I found but it reminded me if my last to much and it scared me. I love you so much Lily, and I don't want to ever see you hurt like I was. I know things are a whole lot safe now then they were when I was growing up, but because of that, I am always worried of you guys getting hurt."

" I never knew that happened to you. That must have been really scary for you. Now I understand why you got mad at me. "  
" I really didn't mean to get mad at you today. Can you please promise me one thing though? Please if you ever come across something you don't know what it is and there is even the slightest chance that I could have bad magic, please give it to me or your dad or any adult to make sure it is safe. I don't want you to do anything bad like I did."

" I promise. "

" Now I want you to go to sleep. It is really late and you have had a busy day. I love you so much Lily."

" I love you more!"

" Goodnight." And with that Ginny left the room and left Lily to sleep.

ONE WEEK LATER

Ginny and Lily were running some errands in Diagon Alley. " Okay Lil, the only thing we have left to do is find a birthday present for Aunt Hermione." Naturally, they went to find something at Flourish and Blotts even though it would be hard to find something that she hasn't already read. Right to the left of the entrance of the store, the display of diaries was still set up. Ginny saw her daughter glance at them.

" Pick out the one that you like."

" What? "

" The diaries, do you still want one? Pick out the design that you like the best."

" Are you being serious mum? "

" Yes I am. I can see how badly you want one. Get one before I change my mind."

" Oh Mum! Thank you so much." Lily gave her mother the bigger hug she could manage and rushed off to the display. Ginny was still a bit anxious about the whole idea but Lily was a smart, responsible girl. She knew what could be dangerous to her. Besides these diaries were fine. Ginny knew that and she also knew that she couldn't let her past get in the way of letting her children living their lives.


End file.
